


Will it hurt? I don't know.

by jubilantfray



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Ghost Sex, Grief/Mourning, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 11:12:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2386280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jubilantfray/pseuds/jubilantfray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after S5, E22 "Home". </p><p>Damon is gone and Elena is all alone. Or is she?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will it hurt? I don't know.

Elena was alone, utterly alone. At least that was how she felt. She and Damon had crossed over to the other side to help bring Stefan back, purge Mystic Falls of the Travelers and get rid of Silas once and for all. However, things didn’t go as planned – do they ever? Elena had jumped into the car with Damon as he raced towards the Mystic Grill because if he was going to sacrifice himself for everyone else, she wanted to be with him, to go with him.

"Do you see a future with me because that's all I see," Elena had asked Damon.

“Elena, I’ve seen it since the second I laid eyes on you,” he responded to her. Then he begged her to respect his decision, the decision to sacrifice his life for everyone else.

“I will make it back to you,” he had promised Elena. However, that certainly didn’t happen.

Jeremy, Stefan, Tyler, Luke, Enzo and even Alaric were among the ones that made it back. Lexi had not and Stefan was grieving hard for his best friend again. Bonnie was the door to the other side and she had known she would never make it back. But Damon, he had promised Elena he would be back. Not that he hadn’t tried to return to her, and Elena was grief stricken. She had sunk to the ground when she realized he was not coming back – ever – and sobbed into her own hands as she lay crumpled on the earth in the graveyard.

"You lied to me," Elena cried. Bonnie had told her that Damon was there in his ghostly form, and he was grieving for her as hard as she grieved for him.

"Even if I wanted to apologize, you couldn't hear me, so I won't," Damon said to her, reaching out to touch her even though she could not feel it.

“Please don’t leave me,” Elena begged.

"I don’t have a choice, baby. And you are by far the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my 173 years on this earth. I get to die knowing that I was loved, not just by anyone. By you. Elena Gilbert. That is the epitome of a fulfilled life. It was never going to get better than this. I peaked,” he continued even though she could not hear him.

“I. Love. You. Elena,” Damon declared.

"Please, please come back to me," Elena pleaded. And Damon had just walked away, his ghostly form had disappeared as well.

“Will it hurt?” Bonnie had asked Damon before the other side collapsed completely.

“I don’t know,” he told her.

***

Alaric was the first to attempt to console Elena. As much as she needed it, she could not accept it, because she was alone. She felt alone. Utterly alone, even though she wasn’t.

Her friends and family struggled to comfort her for days, but Elena just shut them out. She would talk to Damon as if he was there, but she knew he wasn’t. She wanted to feel him again, look at his beautifully sculpted face and those ice blue eyes. She wanted to hold him and kiss him and tell him to his face that she loved him. She cried and wept and sobbed and fell in hysterics into her bed or the couch or anywhere that would hold her. She wanted him to hold her.

Jeremy could not calm Elena either. He was wrought with his own guilt and grief over Bonnie’s death. She had lied to him to make their last few days together as normal as possible, even knowing that she was going to die and never come back. However, Jeremy had faith in Bonnie. Faith that she would and could do something and he turned his guilt-ridden grief into finding a solution. He sought out every witch he knew of and convinced them to also help him.

But Elena, Elena could not shake her grief. She could not hear Jeremy when he told her that Bonnie would figure this out. That they would all figure it out. That Stefan and Caroline and Tyler and Matt were all there for her and helping him to find something to bring their loved ones back to them. Caroline brought her blood bags that she would slowly sip on not really caring if she lived or withered away. Well, she didn’t really live. She existed. But how could she exist forever without her Damon.

***

Jeremy had their family home rebuilt as an exact replica so that he and Elena could go home and be _home_ in the house they grew up in, in the house that both of them had always known as home. He had concealed this work from Elena and was going to surprise her with it, but then the otherside had collapsed taking Bonnie and Damon with it. Elena went back to the rebuilt home with her cousin, but was still so deep in her grief that Jeremy felt she really did not realize where she was. 

“Please come back to me! I LOVE YOU!” Elena shouted into the air of her bedroom.

Damon was there, but Elena still could not see him. When the other side had collapsed, Damon and Bonnie had been trapped as ethereal beings neither in heaven nor in hell. There was no ‘other side’ any longer, but they were somewhere, just not sure where. They both could see and hear the living; however they could no longer communicate with them in any way.

Or so they thought.

Damon missed being able to touch his one true love. He would reach out to her and stroke her face with his hand, even though he was not actually coming into contact with her. He wished so hard that he could feel her just one more time, really touch her, kiss her and make love to her.

He begged to whatever was out there, either upstairs or downstairs , in heaven or hell… “PLEASE! Just let me touch her!!”

About four days into Elena’s anguish, as she sobbed for her love again for the hundredth time that day, she felt something brush the side of her face. She placed her hand over her cheek wondering if she was having hallucinations now. And then she heard it.

 _“Elena,”_ said the whisper.

At that moment she knew that she was crazy, going crazy or already there.

 _“Elena,”_ she heard again. This time, it was clearer than the hissing whisper she heard the first time.

“Damon?” she cried, tears streaming down her face.

 _“Elena,”_ she perceived for a third time.

“Damon? Is that you?” she wept louder, nearly in hysterics.

Then she felt that touch on her cheek again. It was as if a delicate breeze had sighed through her hair and caressed her cheek with its gentleness.

Damon stood in front of her, whispering her name and stroking her face and he was stunned. _Can she actually hear me and feel me_ he wondered? He touched her hair then and sighed her name again.

Bonnie was off who knows where doing who knows what, but she had told Damon that she was going to find some of her living witchy friends and get started on getting them out of there. Damon highly doubted they would be going anywhere, but he was focused on Elena and how she was seemingly falling apart at the loss of him. And now, as he stood in front of her as he had almost every minute of his new existence in this realm, he wondered if she could actually hear and feel him.

Her reactions told him everything.

“Damon?” she said again as he said her name for the third time.

He was jubilant, and began pawing at the living body of his love with his unearthly hands pleading for her to feel him.

Elena felt another slight and gentle wind against her hair and the back of her neck. She knew it was him. She just knew it. Of all the things she had seen, heard, done, become, why wouldn’t there be a possibility that Damon was actually here with her right now.

She ran to find Jeremy in his room. He had been able to see ghosts at one point. Bursting into his room, slamming the door open without knocking, she found him sitting on his bed with his headphones on, tapping furiously on his iPad. He threw them down as soon as he saw Elena.

“Elena! What’s wrong?” he shouted seeing the look of panic on her tear streaked face. She was still beautiful even in her deep sorrow.

“Can you see him?” she screamed at him.

“Can I see who?” Jeremy asked his cousin.

“Damon! Can you see him? He is here!” Elena sobbed, turned around looking for her lover still holding her hand against her own cheek.

“Uh, Elena …,” Jeremy started.

“He touched me, Jer. I heard him say my name, and then I felt him touching me! Can you see him?!” she begged.

“No, I can’t see him,” Jeremy said sadly.

“Dammit! Why can’t you see him, Jer? Why? Why did he have to leave me? He promised!” she wept sinking to the floor in Jeremy’s room.

“I haven’t been able to see ghosts for a long time now, Elena. You know that. Remember? I cannot see Bonnie or feel her anymore. And I don’t see Damon. I’m sorry,” Jeremy explained.

“But he is here. I swear to you, he is HERE!” she wailed, still holding the palm of her hand to her cheek where she insisted she had felt Damon touching her.

And he had been touching her, and was touching her again - holding her in fact, letting her sob into arms that she could neither see nor feel.

 _“Elena,”_ she heard again.

“THERE! Did you hear that?! He just said my name! Please tell me you heard that?!” Elena screamed at her brother.

Jeremy rose from his bed and made his way over to the young woman crumpled on his bedroom floor.

“No, Elena, I don’t hear it. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” he said to her folding his arms around her then. Two men were actually holding Elena at that point, but she could only feel one and it was not the one that she so desperately wanted to experience.

Elena basically crawled back to her room and shut her door sagging up against it, crying silently into her hands.

 _I know I felt him. I know I did_ , she thought to herself.

“Damon, I know you are here. I felt you. Try again, please, baby. I need you to try again.”

So Damon tried again, most attempts unsuccessful, but on a couple of tries, she again felt the wind-like touch of him.

Elena finally fell asleep, the sleep that vampires partake in and Damon’s ghostly form held her from behind.

***

For days, Elena tried different ways to make herself again feel what she knew was only Damon. She tried right after she had sucked down a full blood bag, and she thought she felt him twice that day. She tried when she had spent most of the day drinking Jack Daniel’s to keep her hunger at bay, and when she was as drunk as she could get in her vampire body, she felt his presence at least four times that day. The only time she heard his voice and felt his touch was when she had slept and eaten well and was in a good frame of mind and not in hysterics.

So she began to replicate what got the best response and she duplicated it every day. Within a week and a half, she was not only hearing the whispers of her name, she was also feeling a warm sensation on her skin.

Elena secluded herself in her room and focused all of her time and energy on her lover. One glorious Wednesday, when it was bright and sunny outside, she was sitting on her bed, focusing on Damon and how beautifully sculpted his body was and she felt a warmth on her cheek and on her lips and heard _“Elena_ ” again.

“Damon! Yes, I felt that and I heard you! Do it again, my love, try again”.

And he did, and she felt it again. Both of the dark haired vampires were ecstatic that they could feel each other’s touch, if only for a brief moment.

As the weeks crept on, Damon was able to get Elena to feel him more and more frequently. However, when Elena shared this news with Caroline, she did not believe her and told her she had lost her mind and that she needed to get back to the world of the living (even though they were not technically living). Stefan stopped by and looked with sad eyes at her when she told him that she could feel and hear his brother. Tyler laughed when Elena told him that Damon had given her a good night kiss the night before. Jeremy threw him out immediately. Matt also looked sadly at her and she finally banned them all from visiting her again.

Damon tried, lord he tried every day since his imprisonment in this realm to reach out to Elena. There were times that she felt him but more often than not, she exhibited no response. He was as frustrated as he had ever been in his life – frustrated that the only person that could see or hear him was Bonnie Bennett; frustrated that the love of his life could seldom feel or hear him; and god knows he was frustrated sexually, especially when Elena would change her clothes or shower. He would stand in the shower with her, the water cascading down on her skin, and he would fondle her breasts and suckle them and run his hands and lips all over her body and not once did he get a response from that. He would keep trying though, he would keep trying until the end of one of their existences.

After Damon and Bonnie had been gone shortly over a month, Elena decided that she would go to their family cabin and isolate herself even more. She had decided not to go back to college right away. What was the point? She was a vampire after all and could compel anyone to give her or do anything she needed or wanted. She kept herself busy with research on resurrection and crossing ethereal planes while Jeremy spent every minute searching for a way to get Bonnie and Damon back as well. She also thought the cabin would give her uninterrupted time to focus on feeling and hearing Damon. And it did. And it worked.

Her first night in the cabin, Elena was sitting on the couch that looked like it had been made out of logs but was super comfy. She heard the whisper of her name and felt that wind-like touch against the skin of her cheek. Then she felt the warmth, as she had felt before. She said his name to acknowledge to him that she felt him and closed her eyes, hoping and praying for more this time.

When she felt the warmth on her lips, she puckered and was shocked to feel something pressing against them. _Oh my god, he is kissing me_ she thought to herself. Then she felt warmth on her shoulders and a slight pulling as her body tilted slightly forward.

Damon was kissing her. He was kissing her as if it was their first kiss ever. Not like the kisses that they had shared on her front porch or when she thought he was dying from a werewolf bite, but more like that kiss they shared at the hotel in Colorado when they went to rescue Jeremy from Kol Mikaelson. She had initiated that kiss, but he was the initiator of this one, and she felt it. She actually felt it!

He continued to pull her body towards him, and crush his lips against hers. When he brushed his tongue over her lips, she jumped slightly. She had felt that as well!

Elena was crying again, hot tears streaming down her face, but they were tears mixed with joy and sadness. Joy because she could feel him and sadness because it was not the same as it had once been.

She remembered something that Stefan had said to her once, before the night when her world fell apart. Stefan had said “you two are miserable without each other”. That had been when she and Damon were trying to figure out what and who they were to each other. She was no longer sired to him and she hated his dark side, but she had learned to love him, all of him, even that evil streak of his.

“Your brother once told me that we were miserable without each other, Damon. I am miserable without you and I am trying desperately to find a way to you or to get you back to me,” she said to her wraithlike boyfriend.

Then she felt enveloped in warmness and a sense of something wrapping around her almost like a blanket. She realized that Damon was holding her, and she could subtly feel him rubbing her back. As a surprise to them both, when Elena leaned into his hold, she could actually feel a more solid version of his ghostly self even though she still could not see him. She laid her head down on what she envisioned to be his shoulder. He held her like that for as long as she could feel him and continued to stroke her hair when she cried from the loss of his embrace.

When she finally slept, Damon went to meet Bonnie to see how she was coming along with her witch hunt. It was progressing, Bonnie told Damon, but not progressing fast enough. Damon wanted to know why it was not progressing faster and Bonnie revealed to him that she was having to use manipulation to get the witches to do the chants. She was able to move objects when she concentrated very hard on them and had been moving grimoires and herbs to fit her requirements. Damon finally revealed to Bonnie that Elena could occasionally hear him and she was beginning to be able to feel his touch for longer periods of time. Bonnie was shocked and surprised and elated at this revelation and felt that the chants and spells that her manipulated witch friends were performing had to have something to do with this. Damon returned to the cabin and cuddled up to Elena and fell asleep with his arm and leg draped over her. Elena dreamt that Damon was spooning her and breathing his breath on the back of her neck that night.

The next morning, after Elena showered and was standing at the counter in the bathroom, she noticed letters forming on the steamed up mirror. First, just a line like this …. l … then it morphed into an E. Damon was writing a message to her in the moisture on the mirror. Before she knew it she saw this ….

E L E N A

“Yes, Damon! I can see that. I can see that and I can feel you holding me now. Oh Damon, I love you and miss you so much.”

Writing in the moisture ridden mirror had sapped Damon of all of his energy, much to his chagrin. He was unable to get Elena to feel him again the rest of the day. And while most of the time, the amount of time that she could feel him was getting longer, but it still did not last as long as either of them wished for. Of course, their ultimate wish was that they were together again.

Elena was lounging on the grass near the lake when she felt him again. First, that warmth and pressure on her lips. Then that warm feeling, as if a blanket were being draped over her. Then she felt something she had not experienced in a long time …. Damon lying on top of her, caressing her body. She could feel him stroking her arms with his hands, pulling her head into his, and then he successfully turned her body on her side and she pressed herself into his undetectable body. As they kissed, she thought that if anyone were to see them, they would definitely call the men with the white coats because it would look like she were molesting the air with her lips, hands and legs.

 _“Elena”,_ she heard him murmur. This time it was clear, clearer than it had ever been, but the resonance of it had her wishing she could see his clothes to tear them off of him.

Then she realized that her clothes were being pushed off and out of the way.

“Let’s take this inside,” she said to Damon, and to the air for anyone who was watching.

They rose from the ground, but only Damon could see his companion. He laced his fingers through hers and basically drug her up the slight hill and in the door. He stopped her almost forcefully inside the doorway and wrapped his arms around her again. She could feel him, feel all of him and he was way past the point of wanting to devour her sexually.

Elena responded to his touch by wrapping her arms around him. Because she could not see him, she was afraid that she would hit him in the face, or the nose, or even worse, down there, so she let him lead the way. She did gently stroke her hands up and down what she perceived to be his arms. And she heard her name moaned again and she knew that her touch was effective if nothing else.

Damon kissed her face, her jaw line, trailing kisses behind her ear and nibbling gently on her ear lobe sending his warm breath into her ear. She sighed and became more pliable at that effort. Yes, he still had it and knew what turned his girl on.

He began to remove her clothes again, pushing her tank top straps off of her shoulders. She let him, no resistance whatsoever. She felt his warm breath over her collar bone and down to the tops of her breasts peeking just out of the top of her shirt. She moaned “yes, Damon, yes” as he pushed her shirt down over her breasts exposing her perfectly shaped globes. He surrounded her slightly pink right nipple and dark brown areola in his warm mouth and suckled on her. She sighed and her hand sough to find where his head might be. When she felt his hair, she gasped and exclaimed.

“Oh Damon! I can feel you! Really feel you this time, not just the warmth and pressure of you, but I can feel your hair! Oh gods, don’t stop,” she exclaimed as he continued to suckle her breasts moving from one to the other, never leaving its twin to feel abandoned by caressing the other with his hand.

Damon felt like he was soaring through the air, to be touching Elena Gilbert in this way again and her responding. He smothered her body in kisses and suckles and caresses as he moved his way downwards removing her clothing as he went. When she was completely naked standing in the main room of the cabin, he stood back and consumed her with his eyes. At the loss of touch, Elena cried out and flailed her arms in front of her. Damon quickly wrapped her back up in his arm, scooping her up and carrying her down the hall to the Master bedroom. He softly placed her on the quilted bed and removed his own clothes. He was not sure if this was going work, but he was damn sure going to try.

Lying on top of her again, Damon resumed the ravaging of Elena’s body with his hands and mouth. He placed wet sloppy kisses, which Elena could feel, down her body starting at her mouth, then to her neck and collar bone, then to the tops of her breasts where he left little marks that she could actually see. He continued to travel down her taut and tanned abdomen showering her with kisses and licking her skin tasting all of her.

The experience for Elena was completely surreal. She could feel him with her hands, feel him on top of her body and what he was doing to her body, but she could not see him. Occasionally, she could hear him say her name in that guttural moan of his like when he was turned on and looking as sexy as ever before …. She wished she could see him right now. It was like being blindfolded, but the only thing you can’t see was the one you love and it was hell.

Damon continued his descent on her body, over the mound of dark pubic hairs and plunged his face between her legs. Elena inhaled loudly through her teeth as she felt his breath on her clit and then his tongue as it trailed a line from her fleshy nub straight down into her cunt. Her hips were writhing on the bed and she felt around for his head, knowing where it was but not the exact placement. When she found it, she held his head to her as he forced his tongue into her, lapping at her essence. Elena’s hips were bucking off the bed and grinding into his face as he held onto her hips while he played with her clitoris. His tongue manipulated her bean around in circles in his mouth and stroked it up and down and around and Elena’s hips matched the motions of Damon’s tongue. When he held it gently between his teeth and flicked it back and forth with his tongue with vampire speed, Elena screamed his name as she came.

“I want you,” she panted, “I want you and need you inside of me right now”.

Damon, happy to oblige the woman he loved, climbed back up her body, placed a full mouth kiss on her and slid his thick cock inside of her soaked twat. Damon stroked her hair with his hands, soothing her cheeks with his fingers and kissing her softly on her neck and behind her ears. He fondled her breasts as he moved in and out of her, increasing the rhythm and pace with each stroke. When he pulled her nipple into his mouth and drew hard on it, Elena could not hold her hips still.

Elena was more aroused than she had ever been. She matched his motions as Damon thrust in and pulled out of her in quick motions, taking his dick from tip to hilt in one swift motion over and over again plunging into his lover. Elena moaned and squealed and clawed at the back of the man that was on top of her. She came quickly and then came again in swift fashion as Damon moaned her name into her ear fucking her as he had never before. Her slit was drenched from her excitement and come, and the friction of their bodies together had Damon near his peak as well.

She cried his name over and over again in ecstasy as he drove his engorged cock into her, the walls of her pussy tightening around him as she neared her own peak again. As she came, he came with her, releasing his load, feeling his balls tighten and release as he came long and hard inside of her.

They laid together, wrapped in each other’s arms for a while, Damon’s cock still inside of her throbbing as his orgasm subsided. He whispered loving words to her, words that she could not hear, but he could hear her loving words.

“I love you, Damon. I love you so much,” she panted as her body started to relax and recover from their lovemaking. She was stroking his back, pulling her fingers through his hair again, hair and body that she could feel, finally feel.

When they parted, not because they wanted to, but because Damon never laid on top of her for too long for fear of crushing her beautiful body, Elena felt a gush of liquid escaping from her slit.

She heard it again then _"E_ _lena_ ”.

She rolled over to sit up and noticed a wet area on the sheets.

Again …  _“Elena”._

She turned to where his voice had come from, where he must still be lying on the mattress. As she rose to go get something to wipe up herself and the sheets, she felt it hit her like an anvil.

“I can SEE that,” she screeched pointing at Damon’s come spot on the sheets. “I can SEE THAT! I CAN SEE THAT,” she shouted over and over jumping up and down. She reached out for him, not knowing where he was but he got nearer to her and wrapped her up in his arms. They held each other, him rocking her and stroking her hair.

 _“Elena,”_ he said again. “I love you and I am coming back to you,” he also said, but he knew she could not hear that part. “And I’m going to come in you and on you until you can not only see my jizz, but you can see me. God, I love you Elena, and I missed you so much,” he continued to say into her long dark brown hair that smelled wonderfully of Elena and sex.

“Damon? I heard that,” she whispered.

“You can hear me?” Damon asked her.

“Yeah, I can hear you,” she sighed into the feel of his head against her mouth. “And I love you, too!”

“Maybe if we make love again, you will be able to see me,” Damon surmised. Was that what was bringing them back to each other? Making it so that Elena could feel AND see him?

“Yes, let's do it as many times as it takes” Elena exclaimed. “And then when I can finally see you again, we are never going to stop fucking”.

 _That’s my girl,_ Damon thought and began seducing her again with his mouth and hands.

**Author's Note:**

> I intentionally left out the fact that there is a supernatural barrier around Mystic Falls in this story.


End file.
